I love memphis...

Well I just got home from a two-week getaway from the piles and piles of work that I'm ALWAYS stuck having to do (has anyone picked up on the sarcasm yet....does anyone even read this blog?). It was great, as going down to the gulf coast is currently my only outlet for alleviating stress.

Late last night, I finally arrived from driving back for 6 hours only to be greeted with a note placed on my bed(!).

The note was written in what looked like orange Sharpie in the style of, hmmm, drunkenness? Anyway the really shitty part was what it said, and I quote:

"IF WE WANTED TO WE COULD GET YOU BY NOW"

What the fuck does that mean? I certainly don't know - my perplexity only made more vexed by the fact that absolutely NOTHING seemed (seems) to be missing, or moved around for that matter. So like any stupid idiot, I called 545-COPS, the Memphis police chat line, and after being transferred to three different people, they sent a cop over. (un)Fortunately, the cop, using his high-tech CSI latex glove, confiscated the letter for "evidence" so that they could "dust for prints"...ok cop settle down, you get your A for the night...

Anyway, he asked if I knew anybody that I could've pissed off enough to, you know, break into my apartment, leave a note, apparently vomit in my toilet and leave it, then leave without taking anything. I said no.

Oh I forgot to mention that whoever did it pried off the screen to my bathroom window (which is about 10"x 20" when opened) and crawled through, and apparently it looks like THEY went out the same way. Yeah what the fuck indeed.

This whole debacle just further improves my theory that Memphis is full of nothing but CRAZY ASSHOLES. It just sucks that I didn't take a picture of the thoughtful note, and probably won't ever see it again, as it will surely fall through one of the many cracks down at 201 Poplar.

Woohoo its great to be back.