Viggo Mortensen

We all can't forget the harrowing portrayal of that one guy with the long hair in the indie film series called Lord of the Rings. Or how about that crazy guy in A History of Violence...I mean Eastern Promises? Well folks, its important that you know this actor - his name is Viggo Mortensen. Oh, and guess what - he's an artist.

What kind of art does Viggo do? Well, he takes photographs, he writes music, and he even paints pretty pictures. Yes, he does all of these things! Let me stop the fun right there...

I'd like to talk a little more about his paintings, or really just one painting, but that's all that is necessary to understand how Viggo paints.
Gulf Stream is the title of the painting at the top of these words.

It's beautiful isn't it? Like a nice piece of stationary - oh it's even got little words delicately scribbled on it! I really wonder what it says - thanks internet for another pixellated image of artwork. However, I feel that knowing what the text says wouldn't add very much. In fact I'm willing to bet that it would actually make this painting worse.

I think the oddest thing about Gulf Stream is that I get the feeling he had his 12 year old daughter paint this. I hate to generalize simply because it makes me sound like a jackass, but this painting is little girl art - I've seen it already 8000 times. I mean this painting is the epitome of top-shelf best-sellers at Lady's Home Furnishing Depot - even its very nature is attractive to 40 year old women - beaches, seashells, GULF STREAMS.
Gulf Stream...If it had not been painted in 2002, I would've guessed Viggo jumped aboard the SS Katrina-boat like the rest of America's designers, implementing his sympathy for the battered coast, as well as calculating the placement of a fleur-de-lis upon the canvas.

And why is this shit being praised? Who is interested in these terrible paintings? I'm seriously asking! Is Mortensen getting away with producing these terrycloth washes simply due to his notoriety as an actor? I think so. If this sad fact was not the case, then why are so many women and girls (strangely, east Memphis comes to mind) stuck at home, painting more or less the same paintings with little to no attention from the "art" world?

It's a sad day in America, that the ladder of celebrity also dictates the ladder of bullshit...or are those both the same thing?